V'Ger Please!

It's a dark and stormy night as Hoshi fends off a maggot faced neckbeard in "Exile"! The character the producers forgot finally gets an episode, but only after she raids Crewman Cutler's hoe clothes stash. Can the NX-01 wake a good episode out of all these weird choices?

After hundreds of episodes...did we finally find the worst one of them all? Joseph and Peter explore a whole Delphic Expanse of pain as they review "Extinction'! When Archer turns...into...a ...bird person? Oh God. Oh GOD WHAT IS THIS.

The reboot gets even grittier as we review "Anomaly"! When the NX-01 gets Space Mugged while dealing with a serious case of Bad CGI Floating Coffee, the crew will have to summon their best moody soundtrack beats (and some light torture) to survive.

The gritty reboot era makes itself know as Joseph and Peter review "The Xindi". Armed with a new cheap set with bad lightning, can the NX-01's new XCOM team help rescue Archer - and the show - from the space sewers?

Peter and Joseph discuss the many, many, many lows of ENT Season 2, what was salvageable, and if any of it was worth it.

Peter and Joseph discuss the many, many, many lows of ENT Season 2, what was salvageable, and if any of it was worth it.

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The show we knew gets chucked right out the window as we finally hit "The Expanse"! Archer ducks his court date, as Earth get's 9/11'd real hard. Turns out you can to the terrorisim plotline in the 22nd century, too! Also: It good.

We get one more episodic adventure before sending Season Teo (or Poo) off to the sunset as we review "Bounty". Archer pulls a double plus Uno reverse card jail break with a guy just trying to get his sweet ride back all while the writers find one more way to get T'Pol's clothes off.

We get another, less cosmic step into the past when we review "First Flight"! Back in the day, Archer wanted to prove he had The Right Stuff, but can he overcome Action Grandpa?

Your hosts meet some old Swedish friends as we review "Regeneration"! When those darn zombie cyborgs recreate "The Thing", can the NX-01 find that Janeway magic in time?

Yours hosts watch a wierd one to consume in 2023 as we review "Cogenitor". We lament that they picked Trip to be the vehicle for a little too much American style freedom as Reed takes Mrs. Ugg for a wide in his Weapons Bay.

Your heroes review "The Breach", the most unlikely combination of rock climbing and space racists you have ever seen! We get a very confusing but specific set of problems as the NX-01 sends Travis, his biceps, and some dweebs to rescue scientists. Also Phlox has his Very Special Episode.

That's a big 10-4 there good buddy as we see some more Space Trucker Justice in "Horizon". While the NX-01 goes on a side quest of Trip flirting with T'Pol, Mayweather visits home sweet...ship? Can Travis keep his little bro from going full Space Coward or Space Fascist?

We will have order in this judicial process as we review "Judgment"! Enterprise indulges its best habits as Archer gets a taste of Law & Order: Qapla Unit, JG gets to do his thing, and we get a heaping pile of crunchy Klingon backstory.

The recovery of Season Two from it's scatalogical description takes a step back as we review "The Crossing". When the NX-01 encounters humanity's first brush with the dreaded body snatch plotline, everyone - particularly the writers - make every incorrect decision.

We reach an unexpected high point in the Trek Space Prison Break genre as we review "Canamar". This might be a well-worn trope, but nothing like getting an actor from Shawshank while copying Nic Cage's best move to get the most out of it!

Our journey through Season 2 puts up its first winning streak as we review "Future Tense". Enterprise's worst plotline puts up its best entry as the NX-01 crew works through a Doctor Who plot, but in a good way. That said, would it have killed Trip to call someone when he found a hell portal?

We see what it is like when Enterprise gets its act together as we review "Cease Fire". As the show suddenly remembers its own premise, Archer and T'Pol meet the very best Special Guest Stars as they try and negotiate while Trip manages to show character growth.

Your hosts get a bad case of tonal whiplash as we review "Stigma"! Nothing quite like pairing a classic Trek move like analyzing a current year issue through a Trek plot device as T'Pol battles Space AIDS, but did they have to pair it with a screwball comedy beat about Trip plowing one of Phlox's wives?

Ever wanted to see "Darmok", but absent the interesting plot device? How about "The Enemy" but just boring? Good news, we are reviewing "Dawn"! Trip takes his shirt off and is stranded on a planet (again) and fights Reptile before discovering the power of Friendship.

To the great relief of your beleaguered hosts, we actually got to review a decent episode this week in the form of "The Catwalk"! When the NX-01 needs to create a little hobo camp in the nacelle to avoid bad space weather, we get some Space Jackboots, a bucket for a seat, character development, and the first ever use of a future leader's favorite trick.

An old energy sweeps through the veins of your hosts and the Hateful Journey re-emerges as we review "Precious Cargo". Is Padma Lakshmi's 'acting' the worst thing to ever happen to Star Trek? Who let this air, and how much money did he ow the mob? This might be the worst one of them all.

All of your host's best and longest memes come to life when they review "Vanishing Point"! At last we get a Star Trek episode about how the transporter is a soul-snatching hell machine...but can the Enterprise writers managed to deliver on such a great premise? Of course not!

The Season Turd adventures continue as we force ourselves to come up with things to talk about regarding "Singularity"? This is an episode where everyone has a case of the Mondays over petty beefs until...T'Pol makes Archer take a shower. God help us.